HOW I FOUND MY WHY

How Do I Start? sign

My Journey to Self-discovery.

I know  Something wasn’t right,” I thought to myself as I walked into my house after a long day at work, being greeted by my tired husband, who was trying to manage too after putting in a long day at his own job.

Working hard, saving money, buy a house, and live happily ever after

The formula I grew up with didn’t seem all that great anymore.
It didn’t seem to be working too. I hated my job

What exactly was the problem?  I mean, I worked at a good job but felt as though I was meant to do more.

My stress and anxiety were heightened by the increasing uncertainty in my career, the unpredictability of events, and the complicated, fast nature of life, especially over the last few years.

I became stuck, frozen, and paralyzed by the chaos of life and work I felt all around me.

With no reasonable approach apparent I stood still.
Examining my life, overthinking all the various life paths in front of me, presented a scary picture. Each path looked worse than the other, inhibiting any possible action I might take.

As I was spinning down this spiral of anxiety, my life stagnated and I just felt hopeless.

Then one day, my life took an unexpected turn that changed my life and led me down an unpredictable path, where I learned, adapted, and grew to understand myself better.

It also led me toward a life full of purpose though not perfect , but it seemed to fit. It just made sense, and I discovered it by chance.

Or was it by choice ?

Breathing fresh air into a stagnant soul, I felt alive again, traveling on a road despite the uncertainty existing around me.

Over the last few years, through my journey of trying to figure out which path to follow, I learned a lot about those factors that led me to ultimately discover what I think I’m meant to do.
I discovered my why .

As a result, I am currently in the middle of a major life change, going from a twenty-year corporate career to being an author, speaker, business consultant, and career counselor.
While I am not sure how the next few years will go, I am at last open to new possibilities.

When I first started exploring new opportunities to find the right direction in my life, I found myself overwhelmed by the competition. There were so many others just like me trying to do what I was doing.

Turning to my friends didn’t offer any respite, because, instead of encouraging me to try new avenues, some of them brought me back to where I began. “Why don’t you be more pragmatic?”

With such seeds of self-doubt sown within me, it took me some time to recover my momentum.

It was in the positive voices of some others, in posts  such as this, in videos, and in a mentor that I found encouragement to keep at it. It felt like these voices were talking about me.

And in that positive lens, I found the light inside of me to bring forward the resiliency that until then had lain dormant.

No longer suppressed by someone else’s ideas of the way things “ought to be,” I continued on my newly discovered path.

The more I focused on my own voice and the voices of encouraging friends, the more I grew to believe in myself.

Although for some, finding the right direction might require the journey of a lifetime, I do believe there is one direction in which we are all meant to go: *forward*. Don’t go backward.
Don’t let anyone pull u backward.

Just start. No perfection. Just take baby steps.

By taking small steps each and every day, putting aside over-thinking, and realizing that you have everything you need deep within, you can find the right direction in your life.

And while it may not be the direction you expected, it will work out just fine.
Life doesn’t give u what u want. It gives u what u deserved.
So u deserved to be happy.
Don’t ever forget that.

Don’t worry about what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

I didn’t spend four years and those thousand for a degree in Education from university so that I could be miserable and hate my life forty hours a week, but that’s what happened.

After a few years in the trenches of the non-profit world, my job had become so emotionally draining that it was taking a vicious toll on my health and causing gripping anxiety attacks. I felt exhausted more often than not, and I was scrambling to find scraps of happiness in my previously joy-filled life.

When I took the time to listen, my inner monologue sounded something like this:

“You know you’re not doing what you love. Your life lacks a deeper meaning, and you have no idea what you’re really passionate about. What in the world are you doing with yourself ?”

I wanted to do more, but I had no idea which path I wanted to take. I felt confused, stuck, and worst of all, embarrassed by my lack of direction. I was treading water as I waited for a sign as to what my next step should be.

As the months continued to pass, I became more aware of how I was wasting time. I saw my life passing me by, leaving me only with regrets and “what ifs.”

Finally, I was brutally honest with myself about my unhappiness and I embarked on some serious soul-searching. I asked myself tough questions and learned what it felt like to be authentically me. I discovered that my unhappiness was rooted in my lack of passion and I slowly began taking control.

In few  months  I launched my own  business. I partnered with a Multi level marketing company that help  changed and transformed my life 360°
A year later, I reclaimed my life, and I have never been happier.

But that doesn’t mean everything fell into place perfectly.

Even though I had been building my own business for several months before gaining all the confidence .
Before now ,
I was still scared. I didn’t know if I would be able to support myself financially or if my business would be sustainable.
So,
In order to build up my savings, there were months of saying no to happy hours and weekend brunch dates, and cutting corners to save every Naira possible.

Following my passion was emotionally challenging and a leap of faith, but I never worried about making the “wrong” choice because I knew I didn’t want to be unhappy any longer, and that was more important to me than any paycheck.

It is terrifying when you feel like your life has no purpose or direction, but finding your Why  can change all that.

Finding your why  is like finding your personal road map. When you know what your why  is, you feel motivated, inspired, and so much clearer about what your next step should be.

We are here for a reason. No one else has your unique blend of talents, wisdom, strengths, skills, and creativity.
We all have something great to offer, and learning to accept and own what makes you unique is crucial to sharing your gifts with the world. We must find your why

You must Cultivate confidence.

If we are continually telling ourselves we can’t, then we will never believe we can. There is a chance you may fail, but it will be impossible to succeed if you don’t believe in yourself. You can create affirmations, focus on the things you want, or make a vision board that shows your future success.

Too often we get wrapped up in the expectations we set for ourselves. We focus on the details and the to-do lists instead of what is most important. What do you love to do? What makes you smile? If money were limitless, what would you be doing today?

Push past fear.

It’s so seductive to tell ourselves that we’ll go after what we want when we have more experience, more money, or more time, but the truth is, that will never happen. We must identify these excuses as masks for our fear. It’s only when we get clear on our fears and recognize how they are holding us back that we can begin moving forward.

I want to help, because working with your Why can make the world better.

So, what’s your big why?

If you haven’t found it yet, allow me to share one piece of advice (from experience): You’ve got to keep moving. You still have bills to pay. You have loved ones to provide for. And yet … you may be spending your best time, energy, and creativity doing work you don’t believe in … at a place that’s misaligned with your big why.

That’s one thing you can’t afford to keep doing. You can’t afford to give your best to something that isn’t the best.

So if you need help with the  ” HOW ” of taking those first steps into your “big why” … I have something special for you this week. I designed a 30 minutes call me interactive session on how to pivot your life and step into something you love and believe in:

Maybe you have a message you’ve always wanted to share. A cause you believe in. A lifestyle you dream of … not just to make more money and take selfies on a beach but to live a life of impact. A life you can look back on with self-respect.

If you’re looking for the kind of clarity that can bring greater impact, influence, and income…

Then join the 7 deep down questions on finding your why.

Maybe this is heady stuff for a mere ” mumpreneur  ”  … but don’t you stay up at night wondering the same thing? Aren’t you just dying to know your “big why”?

In trying to find my big why I kept moving … and stumbled into building a six-figure personal brand business. The greatest result wasn’t money, it was gaining the freedom and margin to THINK. The passion to transform lives positively.

Naturally, at first, I thought my big why was to make more money and ditch my day job (shallow!) Then I thought my big why was to help other people make more money (still shallow!)

Everything changed when I answered the 7 deep why questions. These might too for u.

Because I believe that every person should live a full life.
That every person deserves a chance to fulfill their dreams.

…That the systems we create in humanity — corporations, nonprofits, churches, mosques families — should empower people instead of entitling a select few…

…and that these are the people, causes, and institutions I want to help because working with them can make the world better.

So, what’s your big why?

If you haven’t found it yet, allow me to share one piece of advice (from experience): You’ve got to keep moving. You still have bills to pay. You have loved ones to provide for. And yet … you may be spending your best time, energy, and creativity doing work you don’t believe in … at a place that’s misaligned with your big why.

That’s one thing you can’t afford to keep doing. You can’t afford to give your best to something that isn’t the best.

So if you need help with the ” WHY ” of taking those first steps into your “big why” … I have something special for you this week. I’m having a 30 minutes phone talk session on how to pivot your life and step into something you love and believe in:

Maybe you have a message you’ve always wanted to share. A cause you believe in. A lifestyle you dream of … not just to make more money and take selfies on a beach but to live a life of impact. A life you can look back on with self-respect.

Does any of this sound like you? I am determined to help people like you discover their purpose in doing what they love. sign up for my Coaching On ‘passion To Profit

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2 Comments

  1. This is an all time pertinent question everyone has got to answer. It resonate with me in a way, in the sense that I know my big why? But my problem is how?

    • Maryam, It’s great you know your big why but to buttress on the how. You should find that which
      plug You into emotional DRIVES, something when things get tough. this is not a “wish” or a “goal”, it’s something that will change your life or others around you or do something for you that REALLY matters to your soul. It’s your “purpose”. You can email me personally, Lohla, aimblog679@gmail.com so we help you live Your How 🙂

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